The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror, by Christopher Moore

Retrieved from: my library
(0060590254), 2004
Suggested by: I cataloged it; it looked...interesting
My Ratings: 5 Merit, 10 Interest, 12 Fun (I know, no fair, but it really was funner than fun)

You know that point in December when you really want to chuck it all and become a Buddhist (or anyway, stop with the untangling of strings of lights, ribbons and/or parts for the kids' new toys)?

When you reach that point next Christmas, pick up this book. I guarantee it will give you at least one chuckle. If it doesn't, maybe you should convert to something far less joyful.

There really isn't much of a plot here: a small town is mistakenly infested with zombies of the recently dead, because Raziel (the angel of the title) is confused about the request a little boy made of him. Eventually, everything turns out just fine, and no one's the worse for the horror, in fact they are better for it.

Jeez, that sounds really sappy. Focus for a moment on the confluence of Christmas and brain-eating zombies. Genius. Now add a Micronesian fruit bat that may or may not talk, a cop growing marijuana to pay for his wife's Christmas present, and a former C-movie star of gems like "Warrior Babe IV: Revenge of the Savage Skank."

Here's a sample:

"You have a bat on your head."

"Yeah, and for that you're going to shoot me?"

The bat, his huge black wings wrapped around the pilot's head, gave the impression of a large leather cap with a Mohawk crest of fur that culminated in a big-eared little dog face that was now barking at Theo.

"Well, uh, no." Theo lowered the gun, felling a little embarrassed now. He was still in his shooter's crouch, though, which now, with the gun lowered, made him look like he was posing as the world's skinniest sumo wrestler.

"Can I get up?" Tuck asked.

"Sure, I just wanted to talk to Lena."

Tucker Case was exasperated and his bat had fallen over one eye. "Well, she's at her office. Look, if you're going to get high, maybe you ought to leave the gun at home, huh?"

"What?" Theo had been careful to use some Visine, and it had been hours since he'd hit his Sneaky Pete pot pipe. He said, "I'm not high. I haven't gotten high in years."

"Yeah, right. Constable, maybe you'd better come in."

Theo stood and tried to shake off the appearance that he'd just had about five years of life scared out of him by a guy with a bat on his head.

And that's before the zombies appear.